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Idiots笑话，小说，手机小说，剧情，歌词 |
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| IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?). IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk Noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched. IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by Cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." IDIOT SIGHTING #2: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun!. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. IDIOT SIGHTING #3: I work with an individual who plugged her powerstrip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. IDIOT SIGHTING #4: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW??!!! I D I O T S I N S E R V I C E : T h i s w e e k , a l l o u r o f f i c e p h o n e s w e n t d e a d a n d I h a d t o c o n t a c t t h e t e l e p h o n e r e p a i r p e o p l e . T h e y p r o m i s e d t o b e o u t b e t w e e n 8 : 0 0 a . m . a n d 7 : 0 0 p . m . W h e n I a s k e d i f t h e y c o u l d g i v e m e a s m a l l e r t i m e w i n d o w , t h e p l e a s a n t g e n t l e m a n a s k e d , " W o u l d y o u l i k e u s t o c a l l y o u b e f o r e w e c o m e ? " I r e p l i e d t h a t I d i d n ' t s e e h o w h e w o u l d b e a b l e t o d o t h a t , s i n c e o u r p h o n e s w e r e n ' t w o r k i n g . H e a l s o r e q u e s t e d t h a t w e r e p o r t f u t u r e o u t a g e s b y e m a i l ( D o e s Y O U R e m a i l w o r k w i t h o u t a t e l e p h o n e l i n e ? ) . I D I O T S A T W O R K : I w a s s i g n i n g t h e r e c e i p t f o r m y c r e d i t c a r d p u r c h a s e w h e n t h e c l e r k N o t i c e d I h a d n e v e r s i g n e d m y n a m e o n t h e b a c k o f t h e c r e d i t c a r d . S h e i n f o r m e d m e t h a t s h e c o u l d n o t c o m p l e t e t h e t r a n s a c t i o n u n l e s s t h e c a r d w a s s i g n e d . W h e n I a s k e d w h y , s h e e x p l a i n e d t h a t i t w a s n e c e s s a r y t o c o m p a r e t h e s i g n a t u r e I h a d j u s t s i g n e d o n t h e r e c e i p t . S o I s i g n e d t h e c r e d i t c a r d i n f r o n t o f h e r . S h e c a r e f u l l y c o m p a r e d t h e s i g n a t u r e t o t h e o n e I h a d j u s t s i g n e d o n t h e r e c e i p t . A s l u c k w o u l d h a v e i t , t h e y m a t c h e d . I D I O T S I N T H E N E I G H B O R H O O D : I l i v e i n a s e m i - r u r a l a r e a . W e r e c e n t l y h a d a n e w n e i g h b o r c a l l t h e l o c a l t o w n s h i p a d m i n i s t r a t i v e o f f i c e t o r e q u e s t t h e r e m o v a l o f t h e D e e r C r o s s i n g s i g n o n o u r r o a d . T h e r e a s o n : t o o m a n y d e e r w e r e b e i n g h i t b y C a r s a n d h e d i d n ' t w a n t t h e m t o c r o s s t h e r e a n y m o r e . I D I O T S I G H T I N G # 1 : I w a s a t t h e a i r p o r t , c h e c k i n g i n a t t h e g a t e w h e n a n a i r p o r t e m p l o y e e a s k e d , " H a s a n y o n e p u t a n y t h i n g i n y o u r b a g g a g e w i t h o u t y o u r k n o w l e d g e ? " T o w h i c h I r e p l i e d , " I f i t w a s w i t h o u t m y k n o w l e d g e , h o w w o u l d I k n o w ? " H e s m i l e d k n o w i n g l y a n d n o d d e d , " T h a t ' s w h y w e a s k . " I D I O T S I G H T I N G # 2 : A t a g o o d - b y e l u n c h e o n f o r a n o l d a n d d e a r c o w o r k e r w h o i s l e a v i n g t h e c o m p a n y d u e t o ' d o w n s i z i n g , " o u r m a n a g e r c o m m e n t e d c h e e r f u l l y , " t h i s i s f u n ! . W e s h o u l d d o t h i s m o r e o f t e n . " N o t a w o r d w a s s p o k e n . W e a l l j u s t l o o k e d a t e a c h o t h e r w i t h t h a t d e e r - i n - t h e - h e a d l i g h t s s t a r e . I D I O T S I G H T I N G # 3 : I w o r k w i t h a n i n d i v i d u a l w h o p l u g g e d h e r p o w e r s t r i p b a c k i n t o i t s e l f a n d f o r t h e l i f e o f h e r c o u l d n ' t u n d e r s t a n d w h y h e r s y s t e m w o u l d n o t t u r n o n . I D I O T S I G H T I N G # 4 : W h e n m y h u s b a n d a n d I a r r i v e d a t a n a u t o m o b i l e d e a l e r s h i p t o p i c k u p o u r c a r , w e w e r e t o l d t h e k e y s h a d b e e n l o c k e d i n i t . W e w e n t t o t h e s e r v i c e d e p a r t m e n t a n d f o u n d a m e c h a n i c w o r k i n g f e v e r i s h l y t o u n l o c k t h e d r i v e r ' s s i d e d o o r . A s I w a t c h e d f r o m t h e p a s s e n g e r s i d e , I i n s t i n c t i v e l y t r i e d t h e d o o r h a n d l e a n d d i s c o v e r e d t h a t i t w a s u n l o c k e d . " H e y , " I a n n o u n c e d t o t h e t e c h n i c i a n , " i t ' s o p e n ! " T o w h i c h h e r e p l i e d , " I k n o w - I a l r e a d y g o t t h a t s i d e . " D O N ' T Y O U F E E L B E T T E R N O W ? ? ! ! ! !!!??WON RETTEB LEEF UOY T'NOD".edis taht tog ydaerla I - wonk I" ,deilper eh hcihw oT "!nepo s'ti" ,naicinhcet eht ot decnuonna I ",yeH" .dekcolnu saw ti taht derevocsid dna eldnah rood eht deirt ylevitcnitsni I ,edis regnessap eht morf dehctaw I sA .rood edis s'revird eht kcolnu ot ylhsirevef gnikrow cinahcem a dnuof dna tnemtraped ecivres eht ot tnew eW .ti ni dekcol neeb dah syek eht dlot erew ew ,rac ruo pu kcip ot pihsrelaed elibomotua na ta devirra I dna dnabsuh ym nehW:4# GNITHGIS TOIDI.no nrut ton dluow metsys reh yhw dnatsrednu t'ndluoc reh fo efil eht rof dna flesti otni kcab pirtsrewop reh deggulp ohw laudividni na htiw krow I:3# GNITHGIS TOIDI.erats sthgildaeh-eht-ni-reed taht htiw rehto hcae ta dekool tsuj lla eW .nekops saw drow a toN ".netfo erom siht od dluohs eW .!nuf si siht" ,yllufreehc detnemmoc reganam ruo ",gnizisnwod' ot eud ynapmoc eht gnivael si ohw rekrowoc raed dna dlo na rof noehcnul eyb-doog a tA:2# GNITHGIS TOIDI".ksa ew yhw s'tahT" ,deddon dna ylgniwonk delims eH "?wonk I dluow woh ,egdelwonk ym tuohtiw saw ti fI" ,deilper I hcihw oT "?egdelwonk ruoy tuohtiw egaggab ruoy ni gnihtyna tup enoyna saH" ,deksa eeyolpme tropria na nehw etag eht ta ni gnikcehc ,tropria eht ta saw I:1# GNITHGIS TOIDI.eromyna ereht ssorc ot meht tnaw t'ndid eh dna sraC yb tih gnieb erew reed ynam oot :nosaer ehT .daor ruo no ngis gnissorC reeD eht fo lavomer eht tseuqer ot eciffo evitartsinimda pihsnwot lacol eht llac robhgien wen a dah yltnecer eW .aera larur-imes a ni evil I:DOOHROBHGIEN EHT NI STOIDI.dehctam yeht ,ti evah dluow kcul sA .tpiecer eht no dengis tsuj dah I eno eht ot erutangis eht derapmoc ylluferac ehS .reh fo tnorf ni drac tiderc eht dengis I oS .tpiecer eht no dengis tsuj dah I erutangis eht erapmoc ot yrassecen saw ti taht denialpxe ehs ,yhw deksa I nehW .dengis saw drac eht sselnu noitcasnart eht etelpmoc ton dluoc ehs taht em demrofni ehS .drac tiderc eht fo kcab eht no eman ym dengis reven dah I decitoN krelc eht nehw esahcrup drac tiderc ym rof tpiecer eht gningis saw I:KROW TA STOIDI.)?enil enohpelet a tuohtiw krow liame RUOY seoD( liame yb segatuo erutuf troper ew taht detseuqer osla eH .gnikrow t'nerew senohp ruo ecnis ,taht od ot elba eb dluow eh woh ees t'ndid I taht deilper I "?emoc ew erofeb uoy llac ot su ekil uoy dluoW" ,deksa nameltneg tnasaelp eht ,wodniw emit rellams a em evig dluoc yeht fi deksa I nehW .m.p 00:7 dna .m.a 00:8 neewteb tuo eb ot desimorp yehT .elpoep riaper enohpelet eht tcatnoc ot dah I dna daed tnew senohp eciffo ruo lla ,keew sihT:ECIVRES NI STOIDI IIT NSRIETi ek l u fiepoe etda n a ocnattetlpoerpi epe hypoie ob u ewe :0am n :0pm hnIakdi hycudgv easalrtm idw h laatgnlmnakd Wudyulk st alyubfr ecm? ele htIdd' e o ewudb bet ota,sneorpoe ee' okn.H lorqetdta erpr uueotgsb mi De ORealwr ihu eehn ie)IIT TWR: a inn h eep o ycei adprhs hntecekNtcdIhdnvrsge ynm ntebc ftecei ad h nomdm htsecudntcmlt h rnato nestecr a ind hnIakdwy h xlie hti a eesr ocmaetesgaueIhdjs indo h eep.S indtecei adi rn fhr h aeul oprdtesgauet h n a utsge ntercit slc ol aei,te ace.DOSI H EGBRODIlv nasm-ua ra ercnl a e egbrcl h oa onhpamnsrtv fiet eus h eoa fteDe rsigsg norra.Terao:tomn erwr en i yCr n edd' atte ocosteeayoeIITSGTN 1Iwsa h ipr,cekn na h aewe narotepoe se,"a noeptayhn nyu agg ihu orkolde"T hc ele,"fi a ihu ykolde o ol nw"H mldkoigyadnde,"htswyw s.IITSGTN 2A odbelnho o nodadda ookrwoi evn h opn u o'oniig"ormngrcmetdcerul,"hsi u! esol oti oeotn"Ntawr a pkn ealjs okda ahohrwt htde-ntehalgt tr.DO IHIG#: okwt nidvda h lge e oesrpbc noisl n o h ieo e olntudrtn h e ytmwudnttr nIITSGTN 4We yhsadadIarvda natmbl elrhpt iku u a,w eetl h eshdbe okdi t ewn otesriedprmn n on ehncwrigfvrsl oulc h rvrssd or sIwthdfo h asne ie ntntvl re h orhnl n icvrdta twsulce."e, none otetcnca,"tsoe! owihh ele," nw-Iaraygtta ie"O' O ELBTE O?!! |
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